Sunday, January 8, 2023
Awareness as Medicine
I have spent most of my life trying to not feel, to stuff all the “bad” emotions, tell myself and others everything is fine. I'm fine. Somewhere I learned expressing emotions (especially "bad' emotions) was not ok. Eventually, trying to control and stuff all these emotions started to create problems – tension, pain, depression, anxiety, headaches. All the things we refuse to acknowledge and feel will eventually bubble up to the surface somehow. These symptoms – pain and anxiety and depression – are the things we refuse to acknowledge trying to be seen and heard.
The antidote is awareness. Instead of pushing these sensations away and resisting them, feel them fully – as an observer. Ask expansive questions about the sensations – What would it take for me to allow this to flow? What would it take for me to learn from this and expand? What’s right about this I’m not getting? What else is possible here? What am I willing (or unwilling) to receive? What am I willing (or unwilling) to let go of? What if I could just be, without judgement?
Pure awareness is who we are, most of us have just turned our back on it - unknowingly, unconsciously. Pure awareness is always there – like the sun even when it is behind the clouds. You can choose to reconnect to pure awareness. Close your eyes and receive a few slow, deep, relaxed breaths. Allow the inhale to gently flow all the way to your belly / pelvis. Effortlessly release the exhale. After a few breaths, scan your body and notice – without judgement. Notice what you feel. With each exhale, soften. Slowly soften your eyes, your jaw, your shoulders, your belly, your hips, your thighs, your feet.
Choose to breathe in light and love. Notice any resistance. Instead of fighting the resistance, soften into the resistance - notice and allow. Welcome whatever arises. Welcome pure awareness. Repeat this throughout the day.